The ramblings of a heavy heart…

It’s a rainy Saturday morning… the kind where you love to sleep in, and then spend a lazy day wrapped in a blanket, while watching a Cary Grant marathon. However, our alarm was set for 7:50 AM, so we could make it to the hospital on time for our birthing class this morning. But, Baby decided that rainy Saturday mornings are the perfect opportunity to wake up even earlier. So, it’s 6:30AM, and Baby & I are up, and wrapped up in a blanket on the couch.


My heart has been heavy the last couple days. Forgiveness is ridiculously hard. It’s much easier to just stay angry and let bitterness grow. However, everything I’ve EVER heard on forgiveness floods back to me, and reminds me that forgiveness is all about setting YOURSELF free. *sigh* How ironic. For those who are wondering – No, Josh & I didn’t have a fight. I’m simply realizing that people will always let you down, have the ability to hurt you, and when you say “yes” to loving someone (in ANY capacity), you’re saying “yes” to the possibility of being hurt. Is it worth the risk? That’s something only you & God can answer.


Sooooooo, in the meantime, right when I’d like nothing more than to throw a well-deserved punch (at least I think it’s well-deserved), I’m reminded of  loving your enemies and turning the other cheek. I’m reminded that I DON’T have a right to always being understood, and reminded of how many times I myself have been forgiven. The total is… countless. Lord, I suppose this means I need to forgive countless times, too, huh?


I love how God is already using my unborn child to teach me lessons and to keep me humble. Thank you, sweet baby, for waking Momma up… she needed to do some deep thinking. Now, about that Cary Grant marathon…


2 thoughts on “The ramblings of a heavy heart…

  1. Amen.

    This reminded me of one of my favorite C. S. Lewis quotes:

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
    ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

    Hope you are doing well. 🙂

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