I’m at a loss for words. I can’t even articulate what I need. You promised that when I couldn’t put my prayers into words, that your Spirit would intercede on my behalf. Well, I’m going to hold You to that. Isn’t there some kind of verse in Your Word that says something about “Blessed are the desperate for they shall feel better”? Seriously. I’m at a level of desperation for renewal that is new to me. My soul cries out for Your sweet presence. I need You more than ever. My shortcomings are more real than ever, and I’m reminded like never before of how incredibly human I am. I can’t give what I don’t have… I’m on empty… and that’s new to me. Who is this internal person that calls herself Abbey that I don’t even know??? I feel like she’s hit me in the face with a ball bat. I feel like I’m in the desert with no water, and walking around in circles.
I miss You,
(the old Abbey, this new unknown Abbey, and the Abbey I know You’re calling me to be)
“My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.” Isaiah 26:9
Yearn: to have an earnest or strong desire; to long or to pine.