When I can’t pay the toll.

God has been teaching me an incredible lesson over the past 4 months. It has been a season of change, being uncomfortable, being stretched past limits I never knew I had, learning what real trust is, and of complete depletion.


Josh & I were excited about spending an afternoon in Boston last fall. After driving on the surrounding toll roads for an hour or so, we approached the toll station. We each looked at each other, silently waiting for the other to give the cash to pay what was due. Come to find out, we had no cash between us. This is an example of true depletion ūüôā


Deplete: To decrease seriously or exhaust the abundance or supply of.

God has allowed me to be brought to a state of emotional & spiritual depletion. My own supply and abundance has been exhausted. I have seriously decreased. He has seriously increased. After months of frustration, weariness, exhaustion, being “tested” around every corner,¬†being emotionally & spiritually spent and running on “empty”, I’m learning this was the plan all along. Everything does NOT revolve around me. I do NOT have a right to live a life that is struggle-free. I’m simply in¬†existence as a tool… a vessel… of my Father. My life is not my own. I’m here to worship Him no matter the circumstances.


When I can’t pay the toll, and am depleted of abundance, my Father steps in and His grace ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†is enough. What a beautiful season.


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