10 Ways To Be A Mom Of Epic Proportions

1. When Baby has it’s first poopy diaper, proudly document it with a picture.

2. Surprise your Mother-In-Law at work with a quick visit from Baby… your MIL will proudly let her boss hold Baby, and then Baby will unexpectedly pee on the boss.

3. Let Baby headbutt you so hard, it will knock your front tooth loose.

4. Change a blowout diaper on an airplane.

5. On Baby’s first birthday, opt to give Baby a jar of pureed prunes smeared all over her tray (will look like chocolate for pictures), instead of a real cake. This gets you tons of cool factor points from all the aunts & uncles (not really).

6. Breastfeed in as many crowded, public places as possible… this will ensure plenty of curious onlookers. Suggestions would be on an airplane, and inside the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, DC.

7. Let yourself completely run out of diapers at home.

8. At Baby’s bedtime, realize there is not ONE pacifyer to be found… anywhere. Then take tired Baby to Wal-Mart and buy out all pacifyers.

9. Clean said pacifyers by popping the nipple in your mouth. Because, logically that will give you all the bad germs and leave no bad germs for Baby. Make sure to do this in crowded, public places so you will get as many onlookers as possible.

10. Carry on a 15-minute conversation about poop consistency to a mom you’ve never met before.

You’re welcome for these amazing suggestions. Have any more to add?

Signed,

A Mom of Epic Proportions

One thought on “10 Ways To Be A Mom Of Epic Proportions

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s