Learning to love well.

I remember taking personality tests in my youth group days, and then taking them professionally during my working days, and going even deeper with Love Language profiling during my husband’s & my pre-marital counseling. It’s so important to learn what makes the people tick around you! It helps us relate better to one another on a personal and even professional basis.

 

And what people would be more important to learn that about then our very own families and dearest friends? What is your husband’s love language? What is your daughter’s? What about your BFF? Your parents and siblings?

 

Here’s a quick reminder of what the five different Love Languages are… Otherwise, just simply known as how people give and receive love.

–Words Of Affirmation

–Acts Of Service

–Quality Time

–Physical Touch

–Gift Giving

 

Here are some examples of what these could look like in everyday life:

 

-(Words of Affirmation): little notes tucked into a packed lunch or the pockets of clean laundry, stopping to give a sincere compliment or encouraging word, a thoughtful text, a handwritten card dropped in the mail, praising and uplifting a job well done, reminding someone how proud you are of them, etc

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–(Acts of Service): running an errand that they’ve been putting off, handling a chore for them, making a favorite meal, knocking off something on their to-do list that they’ve been dreading, going out of your way to bless them.

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a sweet family member cut our grass and left us a home-cooked meal for us to find when we returned from a long trip. ❤

 

–(Quality Time): regular date nights, committed time together one-on-one each day (even if for a few minutes), a quality phone call during your kids’ naptime, giving your full attention when having a conversation, etc.

 

 

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–(Physical Touch): hug often, snuggle on the couch during a movie, rub your child’s back while they’re sitting in your lap, hold hands while out-and-about, etc.

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–(Gift Giving): pick some pretty flowers and give them to one of the women in your life,  surprise your husband at work with his favorite coffee, let your child pick out a treat while grocery shopping, mail a little goodie box to an out-of-state friend, etc. Don’t be intimidated by this love language by thinking it only involves extravagant gifts… it definitely does not.

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Remember, some people show love one way, and might receive it in a completely different way. I receive love mostly through Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation/Gift Giving, but its easy for me to show my love to others through Gift Giving. On the other hand, my husband receives love through Words of Affirmation/Physical Touch/Acts of Service, but shows love primarily through Acts of Service. One of my BFF’s is all about Quality Time… Both in how she receives love, and how she gives it to others. 

Taking the time to learn how the people around us receive love makes for better relationships all the way around. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate my husband doing the dishes for me (remember, Acts of Service is his default for showing love), but it simply means that shooting me a sweet text in the middle of his day (Words of Affirmation), or coming home with my favorite coffee (Gift Giving) would mean the world to me. On the flip side, I need to remember that the words I say to my husband have even more power then I might think, since that is one of the ways he receives love. He doesn’t necessarily find it incredibly special that I spent hours picking out the perfect birthday gift for him (Gift Giving is my default for showing love)… he would prefer a sweet note (Words of Affirmation), snuggling during a movie (Physical Touch), or me organizing his sock drawer the way he likes it (Acts of Service… although, seriously, who organizes their sock drawer by color?!). I also need to remember that cancelling plans at the last minute with my BFF has more of a negative effect on her then if someone did the same to me… because Quality Time is how she receives love. Make sense?

 

There is seriously nothing more thoughtful then realizing someone went out of their way to show you love in a way that truly speaks to you, but that necessarily might not come naturally to them. Am i right?

So, on that note… if you’re unsure what the love languages are for the people around you (or even for yourself), here’s a little quiz i found online to help you out. I believe that true wealth comes in the form of the quality of our relationships… and what a gift a truly meaningful relationship is! ❤ The people in our lives are worth it!

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P.S. Y’all, I’ve found two more ways to give/receive love. While looking through photos for this post, I realized that most of the photos that involve people being a blessing to me, involve them surprising me with coffee… it’s a real Love Language, y’all… and I couldn’t be more grateful for the peeps in my life that are constantly making me feel loved… and caffeinated. 😉

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On another note, it’s obvious that this hunk and I share at least one Love Language… Kissing should be in it’s own category. #CantStopWontStop

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