First off, my apologies for my lack of posts lately. I usually like to publish 2-3 posts each week, but that obviously didn’t happen in March. It’s been a season of change for us… and I’ll be sharing more on that in the future… but, in the meantime, I have lots to say in this post. 😉
When we moved to our sweet little Mayberry town, I didn’t know anyone. I was a young wife & mother who had a husband that traveled frequently on business, and my heart longed for local friendships. I remember praying and asking the Lord to send them to me. And, then, I tried to make sure I was really friendly. Haha. I started taking notice of the mamas at the library. At the park. At the grocery store. At the local 5k I decided to run in. At the farmer’s market. In our neighborhood’s facebook group. At the local mall’s indoor playground. At a birthday party we were invited to. And, you know what? Mamas were friendly back. Turns out, they were hungry for friendship like me.
My husband and girls are my very best friends in the whole world, but y’all… a girl needs some girlfriends.
Motherhood is nothing short of wonderful. But, it can also be lonely.
The Lord has provided such a beautiful community for me. It didn’t happen all at once, and it didn’t happen quickly. We’re a motley crew, and usually a hot mess… but, what I’m most grateful for is that we can be that way around each other and there is no judgement.
Over time, there are several of us mamas who have connected slowly and most of us live within a few minutes of each other. We spend lots of time together, and it has become one of the biggest gifts in my mothering journey thus far. These women are the women who show up on my doorstep with coffee in hand “just because”… or know that I’ve had a tough week and offer to watch the kids so I can have a few minutes to myself (and I know they really mean it)… who’s kids are my girls’ best friends. These are the women who I don’t have to clean the house for. These are the women who can walk in my front door without knocking. These are the women who see me with greasy hair and no makeup. These women are the answer to one of my soul’s deepest cries for community when I needed it most.
Not all of “my tribe” are mamas, nor are all of them local. Some of them have been lifetime friendships, and some of them are newer. But, all of them are a blessing.
The friendship of a non-mama friend is a very special gift. I mean… really… in all honesty, I’m surprised that anyone who isn’t a fellow Hot Mess Mom would even want to be friends with me, hahaha. I show up late to coffee dates dragging my kids behind me with reasons like “sorry i’m late, the baby had a blow-out diaper that involved poop dripping down their legs, and the toddler decided her carseat was too… carseat-y.” And you know what? They laugh, hug me, pull my kids up into their lap and don’t blink an eye. Seriously… what a gift. In no way, do i discount my non-mom friendships. They are some of my richest treasures in life.
For non-local friendships… they take a unique kind of investment. Sometimes, it’s a handwritten card of encouragement. Other times, a snail-mail goody box full of coffee and nail polish. Sometimes, it’s just a simple text. Regardless, the idea that the time, effort, and thoughtfulness was put into keeping our connection relevant conveys one thought… “Your friendship matters to me, and you are worth my time.” In my life, these specific friendships are more like sisterships, and my fridge is plastered with handwritten notes and scripture verses from them, and my phone full of encouraging texts.
Ladies… you need girlfriends. The kind you don’t have to clean the house for. The kind you can send a ranting text to in the middle of a hard day, and they won’t judge you for it. The kind that understands that carseats are sometimes too carseat-y. The kind you can call in the middle of the night. The kind who will genuinely pray for you. The kind who flood your life with encouragement, positivity, realness, and truth. The kind who are like-minded.
These women are sincerely some of my life’s sweetest treasures. In this world where women compete with one another and are each other’s quickest judges… be different. Invest in the women around you. Be a blessing. Reach out to each other. Find your own girlfriend tribe. It’s such a gift. ❤