Everybody else today is like “may the fourth be with you” and i’m over here like “THE SASS IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE.” Seriously, so much spunk in my two little peppers. Here’s a sarcastic little post for you today, compliments of all the sarcastic thoughts that tumble around in my #MomBrain. First-hand experiences here…


“Taking your two toddlers to your dentist appointments with you is a super idea. They’ll love sitting quietly in the tiny, enclosed area with all the thousands of dollars of dental equipment they shouldn’t be touching.” #SaidNoMomEver


“Cleaning up spilled strawberry/banana smoothie out of the crevices of a carseat is totally my favorite thing to do… especially when you come back the next day to a hot car and the overpowering smell of rotten banana BECAUSE YOU MISSED A CREVICE.” #SaidNoMomEver


“I can’t wait to clean up that blowout swim diaper out of the kiddie pool.” #SaidNoMomEver


“I really prefer my toddler’s projectile vomit to wait and happen when my husband goes away on business trips. It’s really the right & fair way for things to happen.” #SaidNoMomEver



“Yes, sweet child, I actually DID want to help you try on every.single.sock in your sock drawer until we found something that wasn’t quite so… socky. The full-on meltdown during the process was super helpful too.” #SaidNoMomEver


Happy Hump Day, mamas… sometimes, it’s a good thing they’re so cute, right? #JesusTakeTheWheel


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